


Random Acts of Gayness

by waketosleep



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen, M/M, evil twin, impostor, preslash, secret experiments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-28
Updated: 2010-10-28
Packaged: 2017-10-12 22:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waketosleep/pseuds/waketosleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny can't help but notice that Steve isn't himself lately. Yes, he's still an asshole, but now he's an asshole to <i>Danny</i>. And he <i>means it</i>. Something is clearly up; Danny investigates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Random Acts of Gayness

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill for the pineapple_infested kink meme on DW.

"Hey, Steve," says Danny as he strolls into headquarters.

He doesn't get an answer. He stops, blinks, and turns back to duck his head into Steve's office. "Hey. Asshole."

Steve looks up from his computer.

"I don't rate a hello anymore?"

Steve sort of frowns at him, waves haphazardly, and goes back to whatever he was doing.

"Okay then," says Danny, backing out of the doorway.

***

It takes a few days before he really decides that Steve doesn't just have PMS or some other manpain-related disorder affecting his already-negligible social skills, but then Danny decides he's had enough, and so he broaches the topic with Kono as delicately as he can.

"Does Steve seem different to you recently?" he asks casually.

Kono looks up from a case file and frowns off into the distance. "He's been kind of a douche. No, no different from normal." She smirks.

"Okay, _yes_ , but also," Danny starts, but then he falters. This might be too awkward, even for him.

But now Kono is looking at him with what may or may not be concern, and he's trapped.

"He, uh." Danny rubs at his eyes. "Look, he doesn't fight with me like he used to, alright?"

Kono shifts in her chair and props her chin on her hand. "Please, tell me more."

Danny keeps his gaze resolutely on the ceiling as he staggers through an explanation. "Usually, when I call him a GI Joe or a psychopath, or when he calls me a bitch or insults my crime-solving ability, there's kind of a... a sense of camaraderie, or something. It's a repartee we have going." He gestures vaguely as he talks but still won't look at Kono, because she's probably laughing at him. "Now he insults me and it's like he actually means it. And also, he hasn't insulted my tie in like a week and a half. That's far and beyond a new record."

He chances a look down; Kono is collapsed in her arms on the desk, her back shaking with silent laughter. She picks her head up after a moment with a gasp of air and giggles to herself for a few more seconds before wiping her eyes. "That--that sounds really serious, Da--" And then she cracks up again.

"I should have known better than to talk to you about it," says Danny, stalking away.

***

"I heard you and Steve are on the rocks," is the first thing Chin says the next time Danny sees him.

"Oh for fuck's sake, you two think you're so fucking cute, don't you?" Danny snaps.

Chin raises an eyebrow at him.

"He's just acting really strange lately, that's all."

Chin crosses his arms and leans on the corner of his desk. "How so?"

"He's like... Nega-Steve. He's even more of a douchebag than I ever thought possible. And he doesn't joke around or anything. And," it occurs to Danny as he talks, the most obvious thing of all, "he doesn't call me Danno lately. Not even to try and piss me off."

Chin is silent for a very long time. "Tough time at home?" he suggests. "His sister's still there, after all."

"And then there's the fact he shot two suspects last week."

Chin spreads his hands. "That's down from four a month ago."

"Fucking dammit," says Danny, stalking out of headquarters. Nega-Steve glares at him briefly when he passes by the office door.

***

It's pure coincidence that Danny even finds the chloroform bottle and duct tape roll in Steve's truck. Well, yes, he broke into it while Nega-Steve was on a conference call with the governor, but still. He wavers over it for a moment and then, with a quick glance up at the Five-0 building, goes to his own car and takes off for Steve's house.

Mary Ann isn't around anymore, which seems odd. She must have packed up and left without saying anything; that Chin didn't even know is extra-alarming. Danny draws his weapon as he stalks around the house.

There's a muffled thump as he passes by a door he's not familiar with. Danny tries it; it's locked. Forget trying to find a key lying around; he takes a page out of the Steve McGarrett Handbook of Criminal Investigations and stands back to shoot the door right where the lock should be. It opens pretty easily after that.

It's the door to the basement; Steve is tied up next to the freezer, his hands and feet secured with zipties and his mouth gagged with duct tape and a sock. When Danny turns the light on to see him, Steve's eyes widen and he makes a lot of muffled noises through the gag, squirming around on the floor.

Danny frees his hands and feet and then rips off the duct tape. Steve swears loudly when the tape comes off his reddened skin, and then he says, "Danno! Thank Christ!" and tackles him into a hug.

"I knew something was wrong," says Danny, hugging Steve on his basement floor.

"Were your Spidey senses tingling?" asks Steve as he lets go of Danny and gets to his feet.

"I do have a finely tuned sense of the different types of Steve McGarrett Douchebaggery," admits Danny as he takes Steve's hand to get up. "Fuck, I missed you. Who the hell is Nega-Steve?"

"It's a long story and most of it is actually classified," says Steve. "Nega-Steve? Wait, you missed me?" He grins. "Did Chin and Kono miss me too?"

"They haven't even noticed a difference."

"Well, they're fired. Let's go kick some impostor ass, Danno."

"I can't wait. I have a lot of frustration to take out on the face of someone who looks like you, and now I don't have to deal with the whining afterward."

"Missed you too, Danno. Missed you, too."

 

THE END

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Random Acts of Gayness (The Impersonator Mambo Redub)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/189840) by [templemarker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/templemarker/pseuds/templemarker)




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